Lindsay Lohan has been threatened with expulsion from her detox programme after testing positive for banned substances.

I thought rehab was meant keep you away from that.

Jordan has revealed she wants to create a line of hair products bearing her real name Katie Price. As she tries to trademark the name other Prices have three months to object and can appeal to Can Associates Ltd with a complaint.

In addition to the growing risk of losing custody of her two sons, Britney Spears came very close to giving up her dog to an anti animal cruelty group. The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in LA went over to Britney’s mansion to look into allegations of possible mistreatment of her Yorkshire Terrier.

The group quickly responded to reports that her dog’s broken leg had gone untreated. Thankfully her veterinarian was able to send over a written statement proving otherwise.

Apparantly te pop star put the tiny puppy in a crib with sons Sean and Jayden, who subsequently hurled the pet onto the floor.

Britney seriously needs to be told how to look after a dog, if it’s true that this stupid woman put a tiny puppy in a crib with young children.

Hollywood actress Jessica Alba, 24, dedicated her recent Female Hottie award to a boy that turned her down when she asked him out at school.

The stunning actress picked up the award at the annual Teen Choice awards on Sunday night - and was quick to humiliate her unrequited love.

Jessica Alba said “I would like to dedicate this award to a young man who has been on my mind for the last 19 years: Ross.”

She continued “Ross didn’t love me. I was pigeon-toed, I had a sway back, I was slightly cross-eyed, buck-toothed, I sucked my thumb. Look at me now, Ross! Look at me now!”

She’s not exactly orginal but has every right to be smug, she is a successfull beautifull Hollywood star.

Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan were no-shows at the Teen Choice Awards at the weekend, despite being nominated for the Newsmakers of the Year award. A showbiz insider claimed, “Paris was nominated for her 23-day stint in jail, Lindsay for her latest DUI bust and Britney for the infamous head-shaving incident. But none of them would dare to show up… all the publicists went crazy on Fox, and they just scrapped the category.”

Anyone who hasn’t herd of the Teen Choice Awards a bit of trivia:

They use an irritating amount of  canned laughter (laugh tracks) for the shit jokes offered by hosts and other stars with the show being live there is an uncomfortable delay after the joke, befor the laughter.

On the 2007 show’s TV intro, they highlighted Ashlee Simpson to appear on the show, but she was not seen or mentioned throughout the whole broadcast.

Quality programming yet agian from Fox.

Any awards going to these thick drugged-up women for they’re behaviour is a sham, the media are just feeding their hunger to fuck-up.

I wonder who would have won?